I keep blogging about Dan White, hoping some of his writing skills will rub off, but anyway, Mr. Cactus Eater shows some promise as an outdoor blogger with a list of things not to do on a backpacking trip. Highlights:
NEVER attempt to brush your teeth in total darkness. Preparation H does not fight gum recession. And it tastes fishy. NEVER camp at a suspiciously beautiful, yet strangely empty, lakeside campsite. It is probably empty for very good reasons (think “flood plain,’’ “poisoned water’’ and “spaniel-sized mosquitoes.’’) NEVER cut the handles off the toothbrush “to save pack weight.’’ Toothbrushes weigh less than an ounce – and if you try to brush your teeth with the head of a toothbrush, it will fall down your throat and lodge in your trachea, and you will die.
Once Dan discovers the boundless profit potential of outdoor blogging he’ll return to his writing career post haste, I expect.
Your “outdoor never do’s” are welcome. I would add: Never try to read a map while you’re standing in a flowing stream and about to fall into it.
The biggest lesson I ever learned the hard way was not to leave wet shoes out during the winter. They tend to freeze into ice bricks.
Wet shoes (and water bottles) should go into plastic bags and into the bottom of your sleeping bag to keep them from freezing.
Never wait until it’s after dark to find your headlamp.
You’d think I would have made that mistake enough times to learn my lesson, but no. I still do it all the time.
NEVER pack bad smelling first aid lotion in the same size unlabeled bottle as the one your wife used to pack shampoo. We have this foul smelling white lotion called Staphaseptic that kills those super staph bugs, and I repackaged it into one of REI’s small poly bottles, not knowing that Susan had used another one of those bottles for shampoo. I was in big trouble when she shampooed with the stapaseptic, especially since I couldn’t help laughing, despite my best efforts.
Never forget your toothbrush, or your spoon. I had to brush my teeth with my finger for 4 days straight once…not fun 🙂 I also had a friend who forgot her spoon on a 3 week trip to the beartooth mountains, one of the guys on the trip tried to carve her a spoon out of wood…it didn’t really work. She had to either drink her dinner or wait until someone else finished their food to use their spoon. 🙂
Personally, I find the little toothbrush kits you get on planes to be really handy for backpacking trips.!