{"id":356,"date":"2003-11-27T09:19:43","date_gmt":"2003-11-27T09:19:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tommangan.net\/printsthechaff\/?p=356"},"modified":"2003-11-27T09:19:43","modified_gmt":"2003-11-27T09:19:43","slug":"10-ways-to-liven-up-your-turkey-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tommangan.net\/printsthechaff\/2003\/11\/10-ways-to-liven-up-your-turkey-day\/","title":{"rendered":"10 ways to liven up your Turkey day"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. In lieu of saying Grace, issue Wonderbras, short skirts and bobbysocks
    \nto female guests, encourage them to imitate Laker Girls.<\/li>\n
  2. Issue full pads and helmets to male guests, have a scrimmage over who gets
    \nthe wishbone.<\/li>\n
  3. Tell youngest guests they’ll be baked in next year’s turkey if they don’t
    \ndo this year’s dishes. <\/li>\n
  4. Mold stuffing into bust of Rush Limbaugh. <\/li>\n
  5. Mold mashed potatoes into bust of Arnold Schwarzenegger. <\/li>\n
  6. Two words: Cranberry Flambe!<\/li>\n
  7. Sneak a can of Cheeze Wiz into the oven. Yell "Fire in the Hole!"
    \nwhen it explodes.<\/li>\n
  8. Start calling the person next to you "My Little Sweet Potato."\n<\/li>\n
  9. Have the oldest, feeblest guest haul the turkey to the table. <\/li>\n
  10. Start a rumor that the hostess has an unrequited pumpkin pie fetish. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    In lieu of saying Grace, issue Wonderbras, short skirts and bobbysocks to female guests, encourage them to imitate Laker Girls. Issue full pads and helmets to male guests, have a scrimmage over who gets the wishbone. Tell youngest guests they’ll…<\/p>\n

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