Hipster copy editor wannabe at mcsweeneys.net

Get this guy on the rim, stat:

I’m going to try to put this as simply as possible, because I realize that some people thought of English as an elective in college. “FARTHER” is a word that refers to distance. “FURTHER” refers to time or quantity. “FARTHER” has the fucking root “FAR” in it. Like “FAR away from my sister.” Do not confuse these two. Note these two sentences: “My brother-in-law has his head FARTHER up his ass than I thought was humanly possible,” and, “I have no FURTHER interest in hearing your opinions concerning what we should do about the city’s ‘Jew problem.'”