Give your copy editor a hug

I’ve become so accustomed to the “tips for newsies” links on the Poynter site linking to absurd advice that I completely missed “10 things to know and love about copy editors,” which has been up since late last week.

See, they thought it would be cute to say “10 things” in the headline but actually have 14 things in their list. Let’s go through each one just for fun (and, of course, ridicule).

1. We care deeply about accuracy and credibility.

Unlike the rest of you lie-spewing losers in the newsroom.

2. We’re here to help; we’re not the enemy.

Even though we feel it necessary to remind you that we, too, care about accuracy and credibility.

3. We’re detail-oriented — because readers are.

Not because we’re receiving treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorders.

4. We have wide-ranging interests and expertise.

Who’d a thunk?

5. We ask questions because we don’t have all the answers.

See, this means we’re real journalists!

6. Ours is a difficult craft and we’re working hard to improve. We know you’re trying hard, too.

Now let’s all get together for a group hug, OK?

7. We love a good story. We’re excited about good work. We’re all journalists, after all.

See, you need to be reminded that we’re all journalists, because you’re error-prone and apt to forget.

8. We love to show grace and humor under pressure.

Except when we hate to, which includes the next time we handle your error-riddled copy.

9. We fix mistakes, but we don’t rub them in your face.

We will, however, rub it in your face that our job is to cover for your failings.

10. We might often be thought of as anonymous, but we never want to be voiceless.

Remember that voice, it’s the one asking you to doublecheck your notes at 1:15 a.m.

11. We’re often the people who carry a vision through to the end.

I have a vision, that I’m going to run out of wisecracks before No. 14. I’m very afraid.

12. We accept the responsibility of being the last line of defense.

Because we are the last ones to see the pages and the people in the composing and press rooms NEVER catch any of the mistakes WE make.

13. We do our very best work when we collaborate with our colleagues throughout the newsroom.

Because, you know, there’s so much time to collaborate when it’s 13 minutes till deadline I’ve got a headline, a deck, a quote, three captions and a 40 inch story to work.

14. And as this started out as a Top 10 List, it’s obvious that we can’t write short either.

Nor can we tell you why you should love us without first confirming all your worst suspicions of why you shouldn’t.