From Paul Murray, editor of The West Australian:
Safe haven. What other sort of haven could there be? Ahead of. A dreadful television term rapidly replacing the lovely “before” in newspapers.
Facilitating a hike
Lee Anthony sent the following:
These two really piss me off:
“Hike” as in “tax hike” or “price hike”: I really wish taxes and prices would take a hike, but they just keep increasing. “Facilitate“: A ridiculous bit of public servantspeak
that’s increasingly finding its way into news reports.
A few for the guillotine
Calvin Cahan unloaded these with an eloquence
born of bile (editor’s note: “tumbrel” is the cart the French
used to haul people off to the guillotine; I know because I had to look
it up): I’m strongly opposed to capital punishment, but in the case of the
following terms, I say, “Make haste! Load them on the tumbrel!”
“Give back to the community“: Give what back to
the community? What did the “community” ever actually give
that is subject to being returned? What, in fact, is the “community”?
How broadly should it be defined? This is a desiccated cliche that
signifies nothing, although it does serve to point out that one of
the chief characteristics of contemporary life is that there is precious
little sense of community.“Empowered; empowerment“: A term that has been so overused and applied so indiscriminately that its initial meaning
has been diluted to the point of extinction. For example, a politician
who promises to “empower” a particular group just about
ensures that the group will remain powerless.“Closure“: If Diogenes were alive today, he no
doubt would be searching for closure instead of for an honest man.
This mind-numbing, reductionist piece of psychobabble trivializes
the richly variegated range of human feelings and emotions. Oh, how
I fervently desire to closure the door on this noxious example of
lexical pestilence!
It’s raining gift ideas
Dean Morris passed these along:
“Gift idea” instead of “present.” “Shower activity” instead of “rain.”
This one is a riot
Bob Noble, a former UPI wire editor who wants broadcasters to stop
referring to baubles and bangles as “JOOL-er-ee” instead of
“JOO-wel-ree” and ban the insidious “Smith’s Paint Store
is having THEIR (instead of its) semi-annual sale,” also wants
to toss this out:
In cases of rioting, it seems the stories invariably have the miscreants
throwing “rocks and bottles.” Take a walk down any
city street, and there may be an occasional bottle, but few rocks.
“Debris” would have probably sufficed.
Flackery gone mad
Mitch Wagner can hack no more of the following from public relations flacks:
“(Whatever) just got easier.” as in: “Cleaning
viruses off your hard disk just got easier…”“Taking (whatever) to its next level” as in: “Taking virus-scanning to its next level…” “Raising the bar on (whatever).” After we raise
the bar we dance the limbo, and then we do the hokey-pokey and we
turn ourselves about. And that’s what it’s all about, hey.The company executive quote that starts, “We are proud to be
working with XYZ Corp., an acknowledged market leader.”
That’s a double-cliche there, “we are proud” and “market
leader.” The executive is sometimes “excited” rather
than proud.
Not exactly a day at the beach
Karl Witter sent this voluminous list of suggestions along:
Banned images:
The intrepid reporter standing at a beach’s high-water mark in the onslaught of a hurricane or other coastal storm. I’m waiting to see a wave crashing over the reporter, and, after subsiding, the
camera op reeling in a snapped cable with no mic or reporter attached.The transitional bantering in which news anchors, meteorologists and sports anchors appear on screen together for several seconds. Banned words (not including spillover from the corporate lexicon):
“And you’re not going to believe this…”, “Get
ready for this…”, or similar, prefacing a TV news story which
will shock us with needlessly tragic human suffering or bureaucratic
nincompoopery.“Grow” as a verb done by the subject to the object. One grows neither the economy nor a dog. One can feed a puppy, house-train it, and take it to the vet. Then it grows. “Random violence” isn’t; lightning is. The phrase
seems to have been invented for contemporary street and blue-collar
crimes, and gangs. Old-fashioned American shootouts, from the Old
West to the Roaring Twenties, needed no such distinction for the accidental
shooting of non-involved bystanders.“The mother of all…” is this decade’s mother
of all cliches.“Abortion clinic,” “abortion doctor“. Hmm…nobody’s called John Salvi’s victims “abortion receptionists” yet. Hey, I’m just glad the press hasn’t adapted the right-to-lifers’ terminology and started calling women’s health clinics “fetus
farms”! (Half-kidding but barely.)“xxx-ly correct” when one really means “just
plain accurate and right.” Included uses of note are geographically
correct, historically correct, and, the winning stretch-of-phrase,
orinthologically correct.“Politically correct” applied ex-post-facto to
anything. Someday a journalist will describe the Underground Railroad,
the Pure Food and Drug Act, or the Taylor Act as “P.C.”
Actually, “politically correct” is a “feely” word
with no definition anymore. Restrain its use to the original higher-education
meaning and trash it in other arenas.
Oscar, meet the grouch
In honor of Oscar Night (March 24, 1997), Craig Sonnenberg nominates
for banishment:
“The feel-good movie of the year.” So-and-So…”delivers the performance of his/her career“ So-and-So “gives a triumphant performance that is sure to
be remembered at Oscar time.”Other banishment nominations:
Reporters pronouncing the word “nuclear” as “nucular” “There’s more bad news today for (The White House, O.J.
Simpson, Timothy McVeigh’s defense team, whoever)…”“The latest (CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, USA Today, NY
Times, Gallup, etc.) poll is out, and it’s not good news
for (President Clinton, Bob Dole, Newt Gingrich, The First Lady,
etc.)
Wonk on the head
Kim Welch suggests these words/phrases:
wonk (as in policy wonk, as in virtually every story on Clinton appointees and hires). mosh pit (enough already). virtually (see above); virtual reality (seriously overused) paradigm shift (gag).
His line in the sand
Doug Allaire offers these two candidates, mostly heard on
TV:
“So-and-so has drawn a line in the sand.…” I
think this one started showing up more after George Bush actually
said it before the Gulf War. Now I can just about hear someone on
a Sunday morning talkfest saying, “The Republicans have drawn
a line in the sand on this issue.” It always reminds me of drawing
lines in the sand at the beach and watching the rising tide wash them
away. Maybe the phrase isn’t as meaningless as I thought, after all.Using individuals as if they were groups: “The Yankees have
had a lot of strong players, your Babe Ruths, your Joe DiMaggios, your Mickey Mantles….”