A guy I work with told me once he liked to take his dates to Castle Rock State Park. I was already married when I took up the habit so I don’t bring a lot of direct experience on combining hiking and dating, but I do know a few things from taking my wife on hikes. To wit:
- Stay on trails you know by heart (wow, a pun!) and don’t do anything stupid. Nothing says “loser” like having to call in a search and rescue team.
- Ask about allergies ahead of time and be prepared to change all your plans on a dime if an allergic reaction happens (if she has pine-related allergies, stay out of the redwoods, for instance). Put some Benadryl in your first aid kit.
- Single-track trails are terrible for conversation — avoid till you get to know each other (there’ll be plenty for single-tracks to tune out annoying chit-chat about her best friend’s outlaw biker boyfriend after you’ve been dating a few months).
- Walk at your companion’s pace (good advice for any hike but especially when you’re trying to prove you might be worth hanging out with on future hike).
- Five miles is a long walk for a rookie — as long as you’re demonstrating your capacity for compassion and empathy by asking about allergies, ask probing questions about fitness (think of the payoff if you have a leg fetish!).
- Unabridged version of “no means no”: “I don’t like to hike” means “I don’t like to hike.”
OK, so that feels like a good start. Please weigh in with your own insights — dates from hell are especially welcome. Include some locales if they spring to mind.
(Bonus link for those who like to plan ahead).
Back when I was going to school in Santa Cruz, I went on a couple of date hikes up to Fall Creek Unit of Henry Cowell SP. The hikes were moderate and enjoyable.
Funny, I never figured I needed to ask anything more than, “do you want to go on a hike?” If they didn’t want to go, there wasn’t much more point in further dating.
I married a woman who was willing to go on hike-dates, but after all these years I still have to monitor her choice of footwear. She has boots, but she often finds the closest thing to a ballet slipper for a 5 mile hike. I still can’t figure it out. So my advice is this. If you have a date who is inexperienced as a hiker but is willing to join you, diplomatically advise her on proper shoes and socks, sunscreen and all the rest.
I agree with Chris – set the expectations up front (diplomatically, of course). But that goes for just about any worthwhile pursuit in the company of others.
As to second dates: they’re much more probable if she’ll climb a long hill to, like me, see what’s on the other side.
if the trail is well marked, let your date lead, and follow far enough behind that he/she doesn’t feel rushed.
oh, and it’s really sexy when a guy can identify flowers, plants, or star constellations. At least for this married hiker chick.
Just to turn things around, consider the difference if the woman is the experienced hiker. This can be a tricky situation (especially early in the relationship), since you may be threatening his “manliness” by being the outdoorsy one. (I’m not saying all guys are so hung up on macho stuff, but you’d be amazed.)
Make sure he’s comfortable enough with the hike to not feel threatened, and try not to point and laugh if he falls on his butt at any point in the hike!
My wife and I are both hikers; we met in San Luis Obispo at college. The quintessential hike in SLO is Bishop Peak, which has a panoramic view of the whole town, and to the ocean in a couple directions.
Another place we really like is Montana de Oro SP on the coast in Los Osos. My favorite trail is up Valencia Peak, which, keeping with the theme, has a great view over Morro Bay and the Pacific. It’s a healthy climb, but well worth it.
I had had always considered the single hiking scene to be a little too dodgy for me, so I never really considered hiking as a dating venue. The politics always got in the way of enjoying the hike. My philosophy was that trying to meet someone was basically wrong. Instead I would just go on about my life and fate would provide an opportunity, or to heck with it. I met my wife while hiking at Nisene Marks SP. We shared a sweaty first kiss atop Chalk Mountain at Big Basin. I guess that was a date, but we already knew we were both avid hikers. It was perfectly natural.
Ah Randy, Niscene is where all the eligible women are hiking? Knew I was doing something wrong.
For all the strains hiking can have on a budding relationship, backpacking beats it hand down for pure potential disaster. You really get to know someone when you see how they handle a backpack trip that isn’t going perfectly.
As for hiking, my favorite “date” trail is the Berry Creek Falls loop in Big Basin. Close enough to do as a day trip and be back for dinner. Long enough to be a workout but not a slog. Very scenic route and nice payoff w/ the waterfalls.
I think they’re all at Big Basin John. I see lots of young mixed groups on the falls loop. In the spring, Russian Ridge with all the wild flowers seems ideal. You can connect that with a long or short hike.
I know what you mean about back packing. Too many potential annoyances. You havd to love it to have a good time in spite of nagging little setbacks. A good read I just started is “Zero Days”.
Has anyone read “A Blistered Kind of Love”? I just ordered it from Amazon, but hasn’t arrived yet. Sounds like the ultimate backpacking-adventure-as-relationship-test story. They did the whole PCT together and wrote a he said/she said account of it.
When was a single pre-first marriage and between marriages I used hiking to meet women. That was my best source of dates in California and Alaska. When I moved to Russia for a few years that technique was no longer needed 🙂
– jim