Mondo Winkie on viola lessons:
As the afternoon sun crept in through the giant windows, I would rockingly transform from a 9-year-old trying to figure out “Mary Had a Little Lamb” into Gene Simmons, jumping around the living room jamming on my faux viola as imaginary columns of flame shot up around me and (during “God of Thunder”) blood spewed from my mouth. I stomped around like I had demon boots on my feet, cranking on my viola/guitar as I tried to keep it from getting nicked by my “Destroyer” belt buckle. If only Mom had let me get that thing under my tongue cut (I asked) I would be an unstoppable rock god.
Speaking of the viola, an entry from the viola jokes page:
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
1. The viola burns longer.
2. The viola holds more beer.
3. You can tune the violin.